Why didn't I think of that?

Recently, myself and two colleges were arriving at work when we were greeted by our secretary.  She said that the assistant to the (very important person) wanted someone up there right away because her PC was dead.  One of the guys decided to take the bullet so he dropped his things and went up.   When he got there she said "See? There's nothing on my screen!" He looked at the PC, realized that it was off, hit the power button and, like magic the PC came right up.  You know, I think I'm going to have to side with the user on this one.  Those power buttons are waaaaaaay too complex.

Server? Who needs that?!

Ok, this one's a double. Just before the holidays we 2 calls from remote offices.
#1
User: Hey, I'm  having a problem printing.
Me: OK, is it just you or is it everyone?
User: Well, I dont know if it's related or not but... Do you know that black computer with the tape drive in it?
Me: Do you mean the server?
User: Uh, yeah that one.
Me: Yes....
User: Well, the lights on the front were blinking...
Me: That's normal.
User: Oh, well I thought it was a problem so I shut it off.
Me: You shut off the server?
User: Yeah. What should I do?
Me: Gee, I don't know... turn it back on.
..a few minutes later...
User: Hey I can print now!

#2 about an hour later, different office
User: We're having problems printing.
Tech: OK, is it just you or is it everyone?
User: Everyone.
Tech: OK well it looks like your server might be down. Can you go look at it for me?
User: Oh, is that the black box thingy that was in the back of the office?
Tech: Yes it-  wait... why did you say "was"?
User: We are decorating for our Christmas party and we thought it was ugly.
Tech: So what did you do?
User: I shut it off and put it in the closet for a while.
Tech: You're joking right?
User: No, but is that why we can't print?
Tech: Yes, now would you please plug the server back in right now. If it's ugly, put some garland around it or something, just don't do that again.
User: (sounding annoyed) ugh...if we have to.....

WHAAAAAAAT???

I get a call today and it went like this:
"Good morning, IT"
"You know when I press 3 I go nowhere..."
"Um....OK"
"It said press 3 for help so I did and I got nothing."
"Are you talking about the phone?" (We're testing a new VoIP system)
"Of course. I thought you knew that."
"How foolish of me, sorry."
"Anyway that's not why I called. I have a W: drive and it has the same stuff as my H: drive. Where did that come from?"
"Well, I'm not suite sure, it's could've been many things but it's just another drive letter pointing to the same place as your H:"
"Great (annoyed) now all my stuff is duplicated?"
"No, as I said, it's just another letter assigned to look at the same folder on the network. Nothing more."
"Well, how did it get there?"
"Again, I'm not sure but it's not harming anything at all."
"So, do I have 2 of everything now?"
Now I'm thinking this is a joke, I'll give this one more explanation.
"No, it's like if you had 2 sets of directions to your house. Does that mean you have 2 houses?"
"No. So maybe it'll go away if I reboot?"
"Maybe."
"Fine." - click

G:\ Drive

The blog is called "End User Idiots" for a reason. I received a call today from an end users boss. The user deleted their home directory. After i unclenched my teeth, and took a deep breath, and then another, i asked why?

"Because the drive letter was G:\ not H:\". Again i began to tense up. "REALLY?", oh yes he said.

If you went home and your house number was different, would you burn it down? I restored the files that were deleted, and told the boss all was fixed, and not to do it again. He will, and that's why we started this blog, for all the idiots.

Can't find my old stuff?

We've all gotten this kind of call.

"I can't find my old stuff" she said.

"What old stuff?" i said, knowing was talking about some kind of file.

"My old foils" was her response.

"where did you save them?" i said, thinking to myself this should take 30 seconds or less.

"In my H:\ drive i think?" her voice was unsure, followed by a nervous giggle.

oh boy, did she delete them? is she logged into the network? I gained remote control of her pc.

"ok well first your in your 'my documents' folder", i was not surprised.

"how'd i get there?", again no surprise. I navigated to her H:\ drive, opened a couple of folders.

"Is this your old stuff?"

"WOW, yes!, how did you do that?". You'd have thought i pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

"I just looked in your H:\ drive." Click,Click,Click....and there ladies and germs a rabbit.

"OK, thank you bye!"

i was wrong it actually took, 42 seconds.

The Lost File...

Ok, so, I get a call from one of my favorite idiots.

Idiot: "I've was working on my file all day yesterday and now it's not there!

Me: "Ok, where was the file?"

Idiot: "Hmmm, I don't remember."

Me: "Allright, I can search for it on the network, what was it called?"

Idiot: "...not quite sure..."

Me: "What program did you make it in?"

Idiot: "uh..... Windows?"

Me: "So, you would like me to restore a file without knowing anyhing about it?"

Idiot: "C'mon, just restore everything. You can do that right?"

Me: "Um....no. I'm not going to do that. Please call me back when you remember anything about the file you were working on. I cannot do anything until then."

Later, she does call me back and now remembers the name of the file.

Idiot: "Can you restore it now?"

After a quick search on her network drive, I see she has it buried like 8 folders deep on the network.

Me: "Your file is still there, you saved it in (folder name) ."

Idiot: "Oh my god that's right! I remember I put it there so no one else could fint it."

Me: "Good job."

Idiot: "How did you find it?"

Me: "I looked for it."

Idiot: "Oh, (sounding defeated) thanks..."

'click''

WTF!

So I'm sittin' at work, it's fairly early in the day I just finished makin' myself a scotch and soda when the freakin' helpdesk (which is really a misnomer 'cuz trust me these people are way beyond help) phone rings. So I pick it up, 'cuz you know no f@*kin' body else is gonna, and this woman tells me her cup holder is broken...??? I naturally assume she has stopped taking her freakin' meds and ask her if she hasn't dialed the wrong number accidentally.
Taking a nice long sip of my drink I ask her what cup holder and she says "You know the thing that opens up on the front of her computer..." after a rather long pause during which I ask the gods "why me?" I inform her that the afore-mentioned 'cup holder' is actually a cd player and that she really shouldn't be using it for anything else...